A POEM A DAY - ANOTHER WINTER



Three years have passed since my father died. Three years seems enough to recover from this loss but in this time I have learned that grief has no timetable. What is right for one is not for another and there should be no judgement at how we feel or the length it takes to become accustomed to a new reality. 


In a way I don't think we ever are the same again, we just learn to continue life without our special people in them. When Dad died I also lost the link to my mother, who we talked of every day and kept alive together and my connection with my childhood and sense of place when the family home was sold. Living away certainly intensifies these feelings. 


My best advice for the newly bereaved is the classic cliche of time. Keep them present, don't hide them away, include their memories, stories, opinions in your daily life and in time the sadness of their going eases and their presence in family life becomes natural and easy. 


I can still be overwhelmed with unexpected sadness when I miss my parents deeply. This happened only this week when I had some lovely family news to share with them and couldn't pick up the phone. The wave swept over me until I shook it off, looked up at their photographs in the room and told them out loud the news they would be so delighted to hear. My way, still with me. 


© 2019 Jacqueline Knight Cotterill.  All rights reserved. 


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